Dating Rules, Dating Tips

Expectations Versus Reality: Why Dating Is Hard

There’s the “Hollywood” romance and then there’s yours. Why the reality of dating is NOTHING close to what you expect it to be like.

Expectation: You Should Look For An Epic Love Story

Sleepless in Seattle, Pretty Woman, Dirty Dancing, You Got Mail, etc. You get the point, the more drama, the better the ending, the better chance you have at an happily ever after love story

Reality: You Build Something Together

You do not need pain in order to have passion. The best love stories that happen, happen unexpectedly and happen because two people decide to build something together.

Expectation: You Need A Relationship To Be Happy

You don’t need to be in a relationship in order to be happy. People assume that in order to be happy, you need to be with someone, hence why online dating is at an all-time high. Don’t settle for love. Period. If you are expecting someone to make you happy, you are mislead. The only person who can make you happy is yourself.

Reality: Happiness Isn’t a Relationship It’s Who You Are

If you aren’t happy alone and with yourself, you can never find happiness with anyone.

Expectation: You and I become “we”

When one of you is invited somewhere, you both go; one of you doesn’t exist without another. When you are in a relationship, the independence dies, because now it’s all about “we” everywhere.

Reality: It Takes Two

If you become a “we” and stop maintaining two distinct lives and identities, the relationship risks collapsing in on itself.

Expectation: Things Will Never Go Wrong

We’ll never argue. We’ll never have to worry about outside pressures. We’ll never have family problems. Everything will always come up roses.

Reality: Things Will Go Wrong

Relationships are not always smooth sailing. Issues come up, disagreements happen. It’s the way you handle the trough times together that defines your relationship.

Expectations: You Change For Someone You Love

If your relationship is struggling, you will change in order to adapt to the person you’re with and improve to be good enough. Hey, maybe you’ll even change what you want out of life so you can accommodate your partner’s goals and desire. It’s all about your partner now, not you.

Reality: A Relationship Is A Two-Way Street

You should not have to change who you are in order to be with someone you love. Sometimes, compromise is necessary, but changing who you are and compromising are not the same thing.

Expectation: Your Relationship Is Everything

Now that you are in a relationship, that’s it. You are done. Every focus should be on this relationship and you must be with your best friend.

Reailty: A Realtionship Adds To Your Life

A relationship adds to your life, doesn’t take anything away and it’s the only thing that matters in your life. Yes, you have your career, you may have kids, you have hobbies, interests, etc. Having that special someone in life will add to what you already have.

Expectation: Your Love Is The Be-all, End-all

How many times have you heard the saying, “Love conquers all?” and, “All you need is love?” This is what will help you get through all the tough times, is love and only love.

Reality: Love Is Only The Foundation

Relationships require a hell of a lot more than love. They require trust, effort, understanding, faith, patience and honesty. Those are the things that will get you through the tough patches, not just love alone.

Expectations vs Realities

All relationships go through bad times, but real relationships get through bad times. Relationships include: fights, jealousy, arguments, and tears. But a real relationship fights through all of those with real, genuine, love. Expecting things to turn out a certain way will end up disappointing you.